About ten years ago I was walking in the park with my daughter- who was six at the time. I noticed that the grounds of the park were littered with litter, and began complaining aloud to her, as if there were something she could do to rectify the situation. "What is wrong with people?" "Why don't people care about the rest of the world around them?", etc. Well, kids often have an excess of clarity that we have forgotten, so her response hit me like one of The Joker's spring loaded boxing gloves- "Daddy, the trash can fell over." And she was absolutely correct- the wind had blown the trash can over, resulting in a migration of refuse in every direction.
Why is it that we so frequently jump to the worst possible possibility when we don't completely understand a situation? What is in us that can want so desperately to feed the negative beast? One concept to think about is the notion of negativity bias. Negativity bias basically means that you are more likely to remember things that have a negative impact on you. You are more likely to remember and focus on the one bad thing that happened in a day of dozens of good or neutral things. Some researchers think that we developed negativity bias thousands of years ago as a way to help our ancestors navigate the many perils in their environment (e.g. you're more likely to remeber the animals that will try to kill you than the harmless ones).
So, what do we do about this? One possible answer is mindfulness. Mindfulness is difficult to define, but Merriam-Webster tries: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis. In other words, being fully aware of what's going on with you in this moment. We can use mnindful awareness to help with negative thoughts: as they arise, we can take a few belly breaths before we act or let the thoughts influence us. At this point, we can use a trick from mindfulness meditation: notice and observe the thought as it arises, realize that one of the brain's jobs is to spit thoughts out, and without passing judgement, let it go. It takes practice- maybe a lifetime of practice- but it is possible to change the way our brains think.
Realizing that our brains are hardwired to zoom in on the negative can be a helpful first step. And remember- negativity bias helped your ancestors, because you're here.
Also, it is completely okay to pick up trash in the park- my daughter and I did.
Why is it that we so frequently jump to the worst possible possibility when we don't completely understand a situation? What is in us that can want so desperately to feed the negative beast? One concept to think about is the notion of negativity bias. Negativity bias basically means that you are more likely to remember things that have a negative impact on you. You are more likely to remember and focus on the one bad thing that happened in a day of dozens of good or neutral things. Some researchers think that we developed negativity bias thousands of years ago as a way to help our ancestors navigate the many perils in their environment (e.g. you're more likely to remeber the animals that will try to kill you than the harmless ones).
So, what do we do about this? One possible answer is mindfulness. Mindfulness is difficult to define, but Merriam-Webster tries: the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis. In other words, being fully aware of what's going on with you in this moment. We can use mnindful awareness to help with negative thoughts: as they arise, we can take a few belly breaths before we act or let the thoughts influence us. At this point, we can use a trick from mindfulness meditation: notice and observe the thought as it arises, realize that one of the brain's jobs is to spit thoughts out, and without passing judgement, let it go. It takes practice- maybe a lifetime of practice- but it is possible to change the way our brains think.
Realizing that our brains are hardwired to zoom in on the negative can be a helpful first step. And remember- negativity bias helped your ancestors, because you're here.
Also, it is completely okay to pick up trash in the park- my daughter and I did.
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